fjordicswagger | 74 Godiva Street, Saturday Afternoon/Evening

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74 Godiva Street, Saturday Afternoon/Evening

So Tamsin hadn't actually lived in Europe for a long time. That didn't mean she didn't feel some - ugh - affection for some of it. And its weirder bits.

... which was to say that yes, she was watching Eurovision today. She'd even stocked up on the traditional Loads of Booze for the occasion, and she was bopping along - IN PRIVATE - to last year's winner. Plus this thing was better with company anyway, so a few hours before the whole thing started, she sent off a tweet.

Hey, losers. Anyone want to get drunk and watch Europeans in bathing suits prance around setting a stage on literal fire? #FandomIsland
— Tamsin (@f_mayorsoffice) May 14, 2016

74 Godiva St. Booze is here, bring your own food. #FandomIsland
— Tamsin (@f_mayorsoffice) May 14, 2016

[[ ocd up. informal party, what the hey. open. ]]

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"We're watching the Eurovision competition today," Tamsin clarified. "Terrible dancing, terrible singing, weird outfits, last year somebody set a piano on fire during the song..."

"The song was that bad?"

Cara really didn't know about Eurovision.

"No," Tamsin said, peeling the door further open for her, "They just felt like it. Aesthetics."

And a pathological need to understand 'why?' had Cara coming inside. "Who does that?"

"Eurovision contestants," Tamsin said sagely, closing the door behind her. "The flaming piano's only the start of it. I've got a primer."

A singing, dancing Swedish primer.

She might've watched the semis, too.

It was possible that would only leave Cara even more confused than before.

"And people watch this?"

And drunk, and judge. So you'll be fine there.

"Yep," Tamsin said, wandering over to pour herself a drink. "While getting drunk and laughing at everyone. It's a European tradition."

"And where do the Australians come in?"

According to maps they weren't even on the right side of the world.

"Pretty sure the people who organize this stuff got drunk a little early last year," Tamsin said, taking a swig from her drink. "And then again this year." Beat. "That, or some supervillain's crafting an evil plan to move that continent up a few thousand miles, it's possible. Pretty sure this thing attracts a lot of wannabe overlords."

Given this island's current position, anything was possible. "So long as they don't change their minds and move it near here."

Cara had a...thing about Australians.

"I think you're safe," Tamsin said. "Their inexplicable love affair with vision remains 100% Euro."

"Good. Weirdoes."

They were weird and they mangled their vowels ~~like she did when she got upset~~.

"And you haven't even met the Swedes yet," Tamsin said brightly, as she snagged the remote and called up the YouTube app on her TV. "They're like Europe's Australians." Beat. "Personality-wise. Politically, they're so nauseatingly left-wing they're practically the anti-Australia."

Edited 2016-05-14 13:54 (UTC)

"I'll take your word for it." Democracy, not really a thing in the Midlands, and she hadn't exactly been taking civics classes here.

Tamsin shrugged.

And then decided to put on the alcohol song from three years ago instead of the primer. It felt like it'd make about as much sense.

"...what?"

"I...what?" She couldn't even appreciate the inexplicable skirts.

Edited 2016-05-14 14:08 (UTC)

"It's an entire night of that," Tamsin said pleasantly. She picked up the rum. "Drink?"

"Yes."

Maybe if she was drunk enough it'd start making sense.

No, but you stopped caring about it making sense. ~~The mun had just bought an entire tumbler of mojito for tonight.~~

Tamsin poured a glass full of rum and offered it to her. "I can let the Swedes explain it," she said, "But it wouldn't make any more sense."

Cara gratefully took the glass, and immediately downed more of it than she normally would. "So it's crazy people singing, covered in glitter?"

This would explain why the squirrels liked it.

"While passive-aggressively sublimating the natural European urge to get into wars with your neighbors all the time into song and, after the songs are done, into handing out points to the contestants," Tamsin said sagely. "Watch out for France and England. They always have a pissing contest about who sucks the least."

Edited 2016-05-14 14:26 (UTC)

Richard must never find out about this. He'd think it was a brilliant idea.

"Don't they just vote for themselves?"

No, Cara, don't.

"They're not allowed," Tamsin said. "So instead they vote for whatever neighbor they hate the least and hope the neighbor returns the favor."

Beat.

"England's shit out of luck there, too."

"Because they're next to France?"

...Cara liked reading maps.

"And there's literally nobody on the entire continent that doesn't hate them otherwise," Tamsin said merrily. "Also," she added, snagging the remote again, "They keep showing up with..."

She put on Bonnie.

"Isn't she supposed to have twirling ninjas?"

Cara's musical knowledge was limited but some things were hard to miss.

"Probably would have scored slightly higher if she'd brought them."

But not by much.

"Maybe if they'd been glitter ninjas."

Just say no to glitter, kids.

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74 Godiva Street, Saturday Afternoon/Evening

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